Me: Granola? Did you just call me Granola? Really? Me? Granola? I’m not Granola.
Client: Yes you are!
Me: Really? No, I’m not.
Client: You might want to gain some self-awareness.
This is a snippet of a conversation that took place recently in a client meeting. A client, including two members of the client’s team, whom I’ve met with at least once a month, sometimes weekly, for oh, THE PAST 18 YEARS!
Our face-to-face meetings provide me with essential information that I need to do my job. The meetings involve a lot of creative brainstorming and are often strategic in nature with a focus on finding solutions…all things that I love!
Given that we’ve known each other and worked together for such a long time, our meetings also include sharing life stories, advice, suggestions and viewpoints. There’s also plenty of little digs, wise cracks and fun poking that make up the light-heartedness of life – and for which I happen to have a knack and an appreciation (it can all feel just a little too serious at times!).
But sometimes the combination of commerce, comedy and core beliefs can get “sticky,” and sensitivities may arise. We are, after all, human.
So when I found myself feeling slightly disoriented by being referred to as “granola” and called out for lacking self-awareness, I saw an opportunity.
Rather than playing along, or defending myself – or worse yet, turning on them in attack mode (I’ll show you granola!) – I asked myself what was really going on.
Why was this comment (so clearly) sticking in my craw?
First of all, I felt a little dazed and confused by the granola term used to describe me. (Granola, really?!) It’s not that there’s anything wrong with being “granola” (whatever that means), but being labeled as such when that’s not how I see myself felt a little unnerving.
I am reminded of the movie The Breakfast Club (1985):
“…we think you’re crazy to ask us to write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms. The most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…
and an athlete…
and a basket case…
and a princess…
and a criminal.”
We label and categorize other people in order to make ourselves feel more comfortable. If I know you are “this” or “that,” I think I’ll know what to expect from you and how to size you up.
How I was presenting myself to my clients over the years apparently matched their description of granola, whether or not I personally identified with it – which I clearly did NOT.
But, alas, I made peace with my “granola-ness” and with me being me – however that translates to the outside world.
Next, however, unlike the slight discomfort that came from “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me,” the perception of my ”lack” of self-awareness struck me like a bolt of lightning.
What was stuck in my craw, now swiftly dropped into my gut!
If you read my About Dana Shane page on TheAdventuresomeLife.com, I think you’ll agree that I’m one of the most curious, inward-looking, find your own answers, move towards what doesn’t feel good in order to discover what does, persistent – sometimes to the point of being ruthless – people out there.
So much so, that I sometimes feel like a side-show circus freak.
For crying out loud, I just started a weekly blog and personal development company about overcoming fears by facing them, seeking adventure and creating more of the life you want to live!
(Does that make me granola…lol?!) Maybe. Maybe not.
But it does require a willingness to explore self-discovery. And from that, self-awareness builds – however gradual.
I realized I have had consistent contact and interaction with these clients for 18 years, and they have NO IDEA who I am at the core of my being. WOW! (Favorite word EVER! Definitely better than “granola.” OK, I’m over it. Really, I am.)
I don’t say that as a reflection of them. I say that because I realize I have not been bringing my full, true, most authentic version of myself to the table all these years.
Different people in my life, depending on the part they play in my life, see a limited version of me. One that I deem appropriate or safe for the environment or that most represents the role I am playing in that moment.
Who I feel like I am and who I present to the world (or hide from the world) are not always one in the same.
I want to a live a life in full alignment with the core of my being. With the culmination of my mind, body, spirit and personality intact and in sync.
No matter how anyone else interprets or perceives me. However accurate or imagined. Whether they like me or not. I want to be genuine, authentic, and present my full, unapologetic self to the world.
Don’t dance around the perimeter of who you’re here to be. Dive in fully & completely! – Gabby Bernstein
I believe when we only bring parts of ourselves to different areas of our lives, we live a life out of alignment with who we are and what we are here on this earth to do.
It’s difficult to experience ultimate joy and happiness when we’re hiding from others, let alone ourselves.
Or when we’re making excuses or apologies for who we genuinely are.
Or when we’re presenting “dumbed down” versions of ourselves in order to make other people more comfortable so that we can be accepted or meet expectations.
So here’s my question to you: Who are you?
Not what you do. But how do you see yourself? What is the version of you that is always there no matter what role you’re playing?
Does she ever fully reveal herself?
How long has it been since you’ve connected to that core part of your being?
Are there certain areas of your life or certain people who get to experience the real you, full-throttle, without apology?
If so, what or who are they? And why then? Why them?
Starting today, that person – the real you – bring her into every aspect of your life. Every relationship. Every encounter. Every experience.
EVERY DAY. EVERY HOUR. EVERY MINUTE. EVERY SECOND.
Don’t compromise. Don’t vary. Don’t censor yourself.
If I had to be pick one word or phrase that describes me and how I feel when I’m exuding my most powerful, unapologetic, and authentic self, it would be “On fire!”
What’s your word or phrase? Don’t just think about it. Feel it. Own it. BE it. And then share in the comments below.