I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am the champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!
– Katy Perry
Whether you were born a girl or you identify as female, whatever makes you feel most alive, authentic, in your power, genuine, and down right on fire is your personal brand of femininity, no matter how you are perceived or received in the external world.
What aspects of your personality, physical appearance, roles and relationships are you agreeing to or accepting as “It’s just the way it is”? All the while the parts inside of you that you have ignored, denied or muzzled are screaming out. Or maybe you’re exhausted or suffocating under the pressures of keeping up a façade.
To me, the feminine is what any given individual woman is and wants to be. It’s not a role we play. A title we are given. The way we wear our hair. Who we love. How we choose to dress. Whether or not we’re married or have children. And it’s definitely not determined by our cup size (although there are people and complete industries who would have us believe otherwise).
The definition of female must be redefined in the context of the world we live in now. A world that is very different from past constraints, prejudices, limitations, and expectations. And it’s continually evolving.
We have more options – than ever before – thanks to the beautiful, strong, smart and brave women who came before us.
I remember my mother sharing her belief that she had only 3 career options after graduating high school: a teacher, a flight attendant (or stewardess as they called it in those days) or a hair dresser. And it was a given that she would become a wife and mother.
All of these roles are noble, purposeful, powerful positions in their own right. But not if a woman chooses them because she believes it’s her only option. Or worse yet, doesn’t choose at all, but just goes along with whatever is expected of her.
Your value is not determined by anything outside of yourself (despite the overwhelming messages to the contrary). Your options are not limited. Your sex and sexuality is part of your power. You can choose to express and use your femininity, femaleness or womanhood in a way that emanates from the core of your own being, whatever that looks and feels like to you.
So whether you’re:
- A grown woman who can relate
- A confused young lady
- Raising a daughter
- Single, in a relationship or married
- A sister
- Working with women
- A teacher of girls
- Considering voting to elect the first female President in our country’s history (or not)
I challenge you to ask yourself what you’re interpretation of being female is?
What have you accepted?
What rings true for you?
Where do you place your value?
What feels most authentic to you?
And finally, how do we as women continue to perpetuate inequalities by placing judgment upon other women? And what can you do to change that?
THEN redefine and realign or recommit to living the life you want to live, exemplifying the version of female you want to be. And do us all a favor.
Share HER with the world.
And don’t forget to write about HER journey, growth and development in your TAL 52 week Adventure Journal!