Let me guess. Last time you celebrated was on your birthday. Anniversary. Graduation. Holiday. The start of the New Year. A birth. Retirement. You or your favorite team winning.
And what are some of the common themes of these celebrations?
- They’re measurable in time.
- They involve some sort of accolade or achievement.
- They’ve been designated by our culture as appropriate things to be celebrated.
- Most involve gifts – acknowledgement from others.
- They involve effort and must be earned.
Common themes aside, I cannot help but wonder, though…
- If turning a year older is all it takes for us to feel like rock stars, why aren’t we all the metaphorical lead singers of our own kick-ass band?
- If being married another year were the key to happiness, why can relationships be so damn challenging and why is the divorce rate at an all-time high?
- If having children is where we find the joy in living, why don’t we all have 20? (I’ll tell you why. It’s called labor! OUCH!)
- If winning or achieving held all the answers, then why is it never enough?
There’s a simple answer to all these questions: we only learn to celebrate 50% or less of the equation.
In the “off-season” between holidays, birthdays, victories, the one-time events of life or the moments that always come to an end (clears throat…everything ends), we’re left striving and wondering when we can get back “there.” When will we get to feel that way again? Or when will something finally happen?
We’re left longing for something to celebrate and feeling an immense sense of something lacking when we’re not in celebration mode.
So if our day, week, month, year or life doesn’t reflect those things we have been taught are certifiably celebratable, we might find ourselves struggling, just going through the motions or feeling like we’re dissatisfied, failing or worse yet, doomed.
What if we lose? Become sick or injured? Don’t finish? Aren’t religious? Never marry? Divorce? Lose our job? Cannot have a baby? Have a “bad” year – or maybe a few in a row?
If all the other things are the reasons to celebrate, then what is everything else?
What about the spaces between the designated celebrations?
We are NOT taught to celebrate ALL of the moments that make up life – and it’s high time we earn our Ph.D in that regard.
So this week, as I begin my 43rd year of life, what I want more than anything is celebration – all the damn time! Not because I’m one year older. Not because I earned it. Not because I reached some sort of socially acceptable milestone. Not because my life is exactly as I thought it would be. And definitely not because I have it all figured out!
But simply because I’m here. I’m alive. I have lived. I have learned. I am learning. I still have a lot to learn and want to learn more.
The seeking. Discovering. Understanding. Letting go. Picking myself up. Dusting myself off. It’s all part of the celebration.
Everything that has come before today is as it should be. Everything in this moment, everything that will be – it’s all a part of my special, unique journey.
No two people have the same journey, the same lessons to learn (even if the experience is shared or similar).
Unlike the themes at the beginning of this post suggest, we cannot look outside ourselves to external forces and circumstances to determine what is worthy of celebration in our individual lives. Celebration works from the inside out.
Start by celebrating you – exactly as you are and where you are now. Your specific journey. Your personal path. Your triumphs and trials. Your significant life.
Whatever you’re thinking about right now. Whatever is going on. Whatever your circumstances. Whatever your past. Whatever fear or worry you might be wrestling with.
Find the celebration nugget within it. The morsel in every past experience, in every current moment, in every possibility for your future.
If you’re saddened by the loss of a life passed, celebrate all the joy you received by that person being a part of your life for the time the person was here. Relish the impact that person had on your life.
If you’re stressed over the loss of a job, celebrate everything you learned about yourself while you were there and for what that ending will lead you to now.
If you’re hurt over the ending of a relationship, celebrate the shared experience during the time you were together. How you were able to grow. And what will show up in your life now because you were willing to let go.
With any pain point, celebrate the lessons learned. The knowledge gained. The strength developed. The tenderness and compassion created. It’s all there – even if you can’t quite see it yet.
Or keep it simple. Give thanks for the roof over your head (whatever the circumstances). For the clothing on your back. The freedoms you are privileged to enjoy. For the sunshine, breeze or rain on your face. For the sounds, sights and tastes you’re able to take in. For any and every part of your physical body that is working and functional. For your breath. An exchanged smile or glance.
And if you just cannot celebrate – not right now, not in this moment – maybe life’s circumstances are too painful. Too fresh. Or the wounds too tender and deep. Or it’s just been too long, and you forgot what it looks like. Whatever it is – hang in there!
Practice patience. Reach out to others for support. And stay open to seeing the celebration – eventually.
Each and every moment in time is new and pregnant with possibility. You’re guaranteed another chance. To choose differently. To try again. To extend love. To forgive. To start anew. To heal. To experience gratitude for what has been.
That in and of itself is something to celebrate.
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
-Oprah Winfrey
So today let’s celebrate.
Every joy and every tear.
Every success and every failure.
Every time we’ve loved, lost and been willing to love again.
Every friendship and every foe.
Every desire and every disappointment.
Every gain and every loss.
Every physical, mental, and spiritual opportunity or lesson that is presented to us every single day.
And what do you say? What the heck. Let’s do it again tomorrow.
And the next day.
And the next.
In fact, I want to know what you’re celebrating right now – at this exact moment. Find your celebration nugget, and share below.
Remember, sharing your personal celebration could help others find theirs.
I’m celebrating that I’m one third of the way through massage school!
And that you’re a wonderful massage therapist already!