Tag Archives: knowing

Let your light shine!

Recently a young Millennial reached out to me with the question, “What do you do when you feel like you’re fucking everything up and nothing is going right?” In other words, she felt unhappy. Life felt difficult and disappointing. And she wanted to know what to do.

I decided to write about this subject this week because this young woman who reached out to me was not the first – and I’m sure won’t be the last Millennial I encounter struggling with these same questions and feelings.

And let’s face it, it’s not exclusive to Millennials. We all have felt this way and wrestled with these questions at one time or another – and quite possibly still are in this exact moment.

What I do think is different for Millennials are the expectations of always feeling good, having it all together. That things should always come easy, knowing exactly what they want at a young age, and to do whatever they are going to do at rapid pace – all while in the public eye.

But – and this is important – these are learned behaviors and beliefs.

None of which are realistic. But here’s 5 things that are realistic:

  1. It’s not NORMAL to never feel bad, experience confusion, make mistakes, wish you could take something back or have a do-over. So let’s start there.

Quit feeling bad – judging yourself – for feeling bad. For not having all the answers. For making mistakes! Too many of us become paralyzed in our lives by the belief that nothing should ever be hard, bad or uncertain.

If you never experience darkness, how would you know what you love about the light?

If you never took that first step and fell on your ass, how would you have learned to walk?

When was the last time you learned to appreciate something more because it went away?

Having things all figured out is a load of bullshit. So we can all just drop that expectation now and begin feeling better instantly.


  1. Accept that things are currently not as you would like them to be. Don’t avoid them. Don’t pretend. Don’t numb out. Don’t look to others to fix it or to make you feel better. Do your part. Which is all of it. It’s your life. Own it. Live it.

The time will pass anyway. You can either spend it creating the life you want or spend it living the life you don’t want. The choice is yours. – unknown

Do whatever it takes to live YOUR life. – Dana Shane


  1. Be willing to see things differently. More importantly, try something different. There is another way. There is always another way – even if you can’t currently see it. If what you’re currently doing is causing you pain and suffering – you can do this or you can do that – but what you can’t do is keep doing the same damn thing and expecting different results.

Keep moving – little by little or with a great big leap. Make choices that feel better to you – more in alignment with what you want and who you are.

And have patience.

You will hit roadblocks. People will disagree with you. Some may try to stop you. You will make wrong decisions and experience setbacks. And guess what? That’s ok. Just keep being true to who you are, protect what you want and stay in motion.


  1. There’s nothing quite like working for what you want, knowing – or finally realizing – you’re worth it and collaborating with what or who resonates with you in order to create it.

The PROCESS, with all its bumps and bruises, is an integral part of how you will get to where you want to go.

It’s how you learn what you like, what you don’t like, what you want, and what you won’t accept. The process helps you gain awareness, get wiser and become a more compassionate human being.

Being able to accept and understand others will allow you to feel more accepted and understood.

I would argue that everything that is a part of the process – your process – is FOR you. Any life experience – no matter how challenging and maybe even especially when it’s challenging – is your opportunity to wake up, to fight for yourself, to take the reins, to shine brighter than before.


5. NOTHING is a cure all. And there is no place to get to where all the answers will be revealed – where you will have it all figured out.

If you find that place – the land of having it all figured out – beware. An opportunity to learn that the only certainty we have is that nothing is certain may be just around the bend.

It’s just a matter of doing life – being committed to taking care of you – and rising each day, willing to do it all again. No matter what has happened in your past. No matter what might attempt to get in your way in the future.

You’re only job is to engage. To participate. To create your version of what you want the world to look like and how you want to contribute.  And sharing your own personal flavor with the world matters – don’t forget it.


Remember, It’s ALL an Adventure! You’re on a magnificent journey that is your life. Hang on for the ride! Explore! Enjoy! Celebrate!

Living an Adventuresome Life is an active choice…from moment to moment. Head on over to the Weekly Challenge for encouragement and guidance in making those choices.

And for a little practice, share what lights YOU up below!